Grief Coach + Educator. Writer. Death Doula. Perfectionist-In-Untraining. Recovering Lawyer. Curse Word Connoisseur.
Hey y'all - I'm RayRay! I'm a loss sur-thriver. A lover and a fighter. Beyonce fan and donut addict. I’ve attended a Native American healing circle and 2Chainz concert in the same day – needless to say, I keep shit REAL.
I’ve lost my family, my safety blanket and at times (cuz I’m being fucking honest) my will to live. But, oh what I have found.
On October 27, 2015, my mother and sole parent died of voluntarily starvation. She had battled multiple sclerosis for nearly two decades, and for the majority of my life I had battled alongside her. Until, she was gone. While trying to get a handle on life, and cope with death, I was also managing a myriad of other losses. I had chronic pain caused by a car accident the fall before; an ongoing legal battle over the estate of my favourite Uncle who had died the previous winter; and trying to stay present for my partner, whose dad had died suddenly, over the course of 3 short weeks the year before my mom.
Two weeks after my mom’s last breath I was in Paris during the Paris Attacks – a mere two blocks away from Le Bataclan theatre. To top it all off, that same Christmas I watched a father drown in front of his entire family on a beach in Mexico and no amount of tequila could erase the image. I was grief-stricken, overwhelmed and it felt like there was nowhere I could turn.
From chronic pain, oppression and identity crisis to death, depression and heartbreak - I've been through some shit. The only way I survived was by doing the work: looking long and hard at all of my shit, digging deep and finding ME. Then, finding my peoples and sharing the depths of my essence (something like Diana Ross meets Audrey Hepburn) with a supportive crew.
I live for authenticity. Real conversation, real emotion, real experiences, all day erry'day.
With me, you can get REAL: with yourself and others. You can scrap the "socially acceptable" and just accept who and where you're at in your grief. Real talk.
I’ve experienced the depths of loss and I’ve come out the other side. Bigger, bolder, brighter. I’m here to help you and your loved ones do the same. xo R
Wanna be friends!? Me too. Follow along on Instagram and Facebook, and Sign-Up for my newsletter for exclusive tips for minimizing the pain of loss + grief, including my free e-book The Shit You Need to Know About Grief.
More About Moi...
- Certificate in Grief & Loss Training for Professionals, Living Through Loss Counselling Society.
- Certified Death Doula, Doulagivers End of Life Care Training.
- Certified Yin Yoga Teacher, One Yoga for the People.
- Coach, The Great Big Journey Program by Steph Jagger (Certified Executive Coach and Member of the International Coach Federation).
- Certified Level 1 Reiki healer, Myorei Healing.
- Breathwork: Pranayama Breathing Techniques Training, The Chopra Centre.
- Strategic Intervention Coaching Training, Robbins-Madanes Training.
- Communication Training, Igolu (now Lightyear Leadership).
- Extensive training in loss & grief from the School of Life.
- Board Member, BC Bereavement Helpline.
- Diploma in Intercultural Education & Training (Anti-Racism + Diversity Training), University of Victoria.
- Juris Doctorate, University of British Columbia.
- Bachelor's degree in Psychology, University of Victoria.
- The Landmark Forum, The Landmark Institute.
- Member of: (a) The Order of the Good Death, (b) Vancouver Coastal Health's (VCH) Community Engagement Advisory Network, (c) VCH's 'Medical Assistance in Dying' Policy Work Group, (d) the National Alliance for Grieving Children, and (e) BC Bereavement Helpline.
- Blue Ivy Carter is my child doppleganger (my mom pointed it out).
- I'm a corporate & entertainment lawyer by trade and worked at a top-tier international firm before it went belly up...with just 3 weeks notice.
- I'm obsessed with 90s R&B and late 80s Soft Rock (so good right?).
- This site, and this work, is in honour of my momma - Suzette. I owe my drive, compassion and love of champagne to her.