This is a tough time of year. No matter where you live, who you are or what you've been through, the holidays can be incredibly challenging. For those dealing with loss and grief, even more so.
Since we're in the thick of the holiday madness, I wanted to send along a huge virtual hug and my version of holiday cheer, which is usually a sparkling cocktail but since I'm sending this "a la the internet" I went with the next best thing, love (#hallelujahhands).
Dealing with Loss and Grief During the Holidays
If this is your first holiday dealing with loss and grief (and even if its not), be easy. On yourself. On others (if they deserve it). On whatever expectations you may have for this season. It may not go down as you had thought or hoped or wished, and maybe that's okay. Its possible it may all turn out better than you imagine, but it may also feel like a huge fucking disaster - whatever happens, just do your best to stay in your lane. Take care of your needs, wants and desires first. You (and yes even your loved ones) will be all the better for it.
Last year was my first holiday without my mom and for the first time in my life I skipped Christmas. My partner and I flew the coop and went to Mexico instead (ole!). It wasn't my ideal way to spend the holidays (cuz I fucking love me some Christmas), but it was exactly what I needed in order to get me through at that time. This will be my first "real" Christmas without my mom, and its going to be tough. Fo sho. But I'm keeping super conscious about how I'm feeling, what my needs are and how to best meet them. So far, its feeling pretty darn good.
If you've been dealing with loss and grief for some time, know that your loss is still sacred. You may not feel the same amount of acknowledgment or outpouring of love about it, but that doesn't mean you don't deserve it or that your loss hurts any less. Time alone does not heal, intention and action are also required. So, no matter when your loss occurred, pay homage to where you're at.
Finding yourself alone this year, by choice or otherwise? You are in my thoughts. It can be hella challenging to feel like you don't have anywhere to go, or that you would rather not be around anyone even if you do. Please honour yourself however is best for you. Check out a movie (great new releases always come out on Christmas Day!), go for a walk, pop some popcorn and cozy up on your couch - whatever feels best and most right during this season - take care of yourself.
Some Tips for Getting Thru the Holiday Mayhem:
1) Talk to Trusted Folks About Your Loss - No Need to Pretend It Doesn't Suck.
2) Partake In As Much or As Little of the Festivities As Feels Best for You (And Don't Apologize if You Change Your Mind).
3) Check In With Yourself on the Regular (How Does My Heart Feel Right Now?)
4) Breathe. Deeply and Frequently.
Mad Love to You and Yours
No matter how alone you may feel, know that there are literally thousands of us out there who are navigating loss and grief right now. None of us have it figured out - we're all learning what this whole new world looks like and how to move within it.
If you're in need of extra love during this trying time, please hit me up for an intuitive grief coaching session. I would love to help. Given the time of year, I know funds can be tight this time of year so no matter your financial position just give me a shout and we can sort you out. You are not alone.
If you're in need of hands-on help, book an Intuitive Grief Coaching Call with me here. Rates are 25% off for the month of December and gift cards are available (the perfect gift for those in need!).