Today's interview is with Georgia Morley, a Certified Doula, Holistic Nutritionist and Founder of Built for This Baby (B4TB), a movement to foster global discussion about inherent wisdom in pregnancy, birthing and the intricacies of motherhood and career (mad props). Learn more about B4TB in this Global News segment.
Georgia shares her experience of losing her mother to cancer, and what she's learned from it all. Welcome Georgia! xo R
What is your most significant loss, and what made it so significant?
The loss of my Mum when I was 39. My Mum was a healthy and vibrant 65 year old woman on Monday, and on Tuesday she was diagnosed with Mesothelioma (advanced cancer caused by asbestos poisoning). Nine weeks later she died at home in her bed. The disease essentially ate her alive and I witnessed every moment of it. It was horrific and amidst the horror I had the incredible opportunity to be by her side every moment of every day, supporting, loving, cuddling, feeding and caring for her as she transitioned through this time. The pain I felt was immeasurable and it took me a long time to even begin to live again. She was my best friend. I can say that now without a doubt; she was the best mummy a girl/woman could have.
We didn’t spend a lot of time talking about the end during those brief weeks, she didn’t want to leave us, in the physical sense and we had done all the forgiving we needed to do years before she was taken ill. So instead, we just cuddled in the beauty of our love for one another until she floated away that day in August, two years ago now and I am still in disbelief.
What did you learn from your loss?
“Learn.” Well that’s an interesting word when applied to loss: I learned that today is the day. This is it - this moment, this light, this breath - this is all that is happening and I can choose to be present to this moment, or I can choose to forget and get lost in the wake of my wants and desires, past and future. I learned that Western life makes death very painful and complicated. It was only through my deep connection to a God of my understanding that I could surrender to the loss. And I continue to surrender everyday.
What is your advice for others enduring a similar loss?
This is a formidable thing this loss of yours. There is no direct route out. So go in. In the beginning, each day will drag you into a place more dark than the day before, and then in the middle you will find solace but for a minute, and be dragged back down to that dark place once again. Grief is not friendly and it’s very inconvenient. It begs you to be with it at the grocery store when everyone is watching; on the floor bellowing for reprieve. Be with it. It’s okay. Stay with it - who cares who is witnessing. Grief needs you to accept it, so that you can unfurl into this new place more ready for this life than you have ever been.
Be gentle with yourself and others. It will seem as though you are the only one who gets it. And that’s probably true. This is your loss and your experience with it, is exactly as it should be. Be with your grief, don’t squash it for fear it will swallow you. I promise, you will emerge and your loved one will be waiting to embrace you in a new divine relationship.
Huge hugs to Georgia for boldly sharing her story with us. xo R
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