This segment of loss(t) convos is with Amanda Sandlin of Amanda Sandlin Creative (peep her shit here!). She is a 26 year old freelance graphic artist who is currently touring her way through North America in an epic van she named Penny. Follow her journey on Instagram @amandasandlin.
Amanda shares her experience of loss via divorce.
What is the most significant loss you've endured and what made it so significant?
Divorce. I was 22. I decided to get married entirely out of fear, and ending the marriage was never really an option in my mind. But being in that union was quite literally killing me — I went into a deep depression and developed an unknown autoimmune condition that gave me near constant muscle and joint problems.
Deciding to leave felt like more than just a betrayal of my partner; in my mind I was committing treason against our families, friends, and faith. It was ME making the choice to let go, and that added a layer of guilt to the grieving process. I still don't think I've fully realized the significance of this loss. It was a violent upheaval of false, old perceptions and an intuitive step into truth.
What did you learn from it?
So much…I don't even know where to begin. I learned that when I choose to ignore my intuition, I invite pain into my life. I learned that forgiveness is something we must liberally afford ourselves, just as much as we do for anyone else. I learned that we are all just doing our best, and no one has it all figured out. And that unites us all as humans. There's no separation.
What is your advice for others enduring a similar loss?
Forgive it ALL. Break down any walls you've built because they don't serve you. When we live in the lie that 'they' are the problem, we only create more suffering for ourselves. Turn inward and get right with yourself. For me it happened just recently while living on the road, where I could no longer run from myself or hide my self-loathing through media, material items, friendships, or any other external stimulation. But I also recognize that it's a process and you can't rush it. So all along the way, forgive.
Forgive. Forgive. Forgive some more. Every day. Feel your feelings, let them pass through, and as they are leaving...forgive.
Huge shoutout to Amanda for sharing her story!
If you want to share your story about loss and how you overcame it, shoot me an email at email@example.com!